True Love Never Lies- Especially in the Aisles of an Old Navy

This morning I packed the kids in the car and headed over to my favorite shopping place- Old Navy.  I absolutely love Old Navy- I buy almost every article of clothing any of us wear from this one store.  There is always a sale, I always have a coupon and I can shop online, late at night in my pajamas.  Best of all if I order something with always free shipping and don't like it or it doesn't fit, I can return it tot he store free of charge.

Today I had four items to return so the boys with their Nintendo DS's accompanied me on my journey where we were met by the great wheel of prizes.  They spun for me and I won a $10 coupon.  It was awesome!  I was there to return stuff and before I even made it to the register, they handed me a coupon.  A coupon for the coupon queen.  I love a deal and a coupon will give me so much joy that I can barely contain it.  My half full glass fills up to overflowing when a coupon is available!

As I shopped the sales and piddled around the store, I ran into my dear friend.  In less than sixty seconds she denounced my love of black and insisted I wear color.  Oh and she demanded that I color my hair to cover the grey area at my temples.

Now, my friends, that is true love.

Instead of dancing around the subjects I know she wanted to discuss, she came right out and demanded I do something.  Could I have been offended?  Yeah, I could have.  Was I?  Nope.  I know she just loves me and true love never lies.

So I bought a bright red top.

I now have a red top, a purple sweater and a turquoise sweater tucked in among the blacks, greys, browns and blues.  I am making progress.

Wearing colors takes confidence and I severely lack in confidence on a regular basis.  Motherhood and gravity have not been overly kind to me and thanks to a myriad of health issues out of my control, several ineffective fad diets and dozens of binge-purge cycles, I will never have the sort of body that I feel belongs in bright patterns and pretty prints.  In fact, I will even admit that I hide behind dark colors, ill fitting clothes and plain styles most days of the week.  I figure if I blend into the background no one will notice that I am no longer the picture of what I was at 25.

I have struggled with this distorted sense of self image most of my life and although I mostly successful at ignoring it, I avoid a camera at all costs and rarely look at any image of my reflection without wanting to cry.

So today, thanks to the love of a good friend, I took control of my destiny for just a moment and bought the beautiful ruby colored top instead of its olive green companion.  Hopefully I will have the nerve to wear it.

I long for the day in my life when I have the confidence to dance down the street in my red hat and purple pumps and not give a damn what anyone thinks.  For now I will settle for one beautiful red shirt and a friend who gives it to me straight ever single time.

Thanks, C!  You know I love you too!

I've Got Spirit- How 'Bout You!

    Whew!  What a week this has been!  I am so exhausted as I sit here at my computer that I actually can not sleep.  I am way beyond the window of opportunity and hope that  as I write a little, my brain will relax a bit and allow me to actually get a little of that coveted thing called sleep.

   Tonight is Homecoming- the biggest game of the football season!  And this week was Spirit Week.  For those of you who don't know, Spirit Week in a high school basically gives the students creative license to be anyone or anything that they want to be.  Each day has a theme finally culminating with the day of Homecoming and a sea of school colors filling the hallways and classrooms. 

    What I really enjoy about Spirit Week is all the different interpretations of "Out of this World" day and "International" day.   Especially "Home Sweet Home" day on the day of the big game.  The whole process opens windows for me into the creative minds of our students and I just love seeing what they come up with and trying to figure out the thought process that brough them to that point.

    What I love the most about Spirit Week- and foorball season?  THE DRUM LINE! 

    Every friday morning of a home football game, the drum line actually walks the halls of the school, tapping out infectious beats that bring at least a smile to everyone's face- teacher and student alike.  Me?  I find it hard to resist the urge to step it down the hall way!

   After a quick tour of the halls they congregate in the cafeteria with the cheerleadres and the dance team for performance that never fails to lift the spirits of the entire school.

   Who can resist a good drum?

    This is the only school I have ever worked in where the school spirit literally oozes from the pores of the cinder block walls.  It's something akin to a move production the way the drumline marches the halls, students dance and teachers can resist at least a bounce in their step.  It is awesome and gives me goose bumps every single time!

    So, this morning as I stood in the hall soaking in the spirit and tapping to the beat, I realized something.  I love my job.  I mean, I really love my job.

   Don't get me wrong- it's exhausting, sometimes infuriating and often frustrating.  Somedays I question my very sanity for giving up solitary, peaceful research for a building full of teenagers with sagging pants, too short skirts and ear buds hanging out of the front of their shirts.

    Then I remember that it is also challenging, rewarding, ever-changing and, on days like today, downright fun. 

   There are so many things in my life that are uncertain; the size of my husband's paycheck, the amount of the electric bill and whether or not the refrigerator will actually contain something that might suffice as supper for example.

   But one thing I can count on daily- teenagers make my life grand.  They are so unpredictable, so in need of affirmation and valuation and so certain that they are going to take on the world - and win- that each day that passes I know for certain that I will laugh, I will want to cry, I will wish I had stayed in the lab and I will thank God that I didn't.

    I look back over my life and think about all of the different things I thought that I wanted to be when I grew up.  Writer was never on the list- it is at the top now.  Teaching was as far from my mind as being a swimsuit model  and I planned to stay single and without children forever.

   Looks like the joke's on me! 

    My life has taken a whole series of unexpected turns and when I try to go back and find the exact place in time; the exact turning point where mother, wife and teacher were conscious choices, I can not even begin to find it.  It's as if the choices were decided long before I had any say in this world.

    If you know me at all then you know that I have slight issues with control- I have to be in control of everything.  This lack of control is no easy thing for me to contend with!

    I want to be a glass half full girl.  I want to embrace life yet not try to control its journey.  I want to take a lesson from my teenagers and open my mind to creativity and interpretation.  I want school spirit, I want marriage spirit, I want motherhood spirit!  I want to embrace the unknown and travel the path I am on with an open mind and an open soul. 
 
   This is a tough time we are living in.  I don't know anyone who hasn't been touched by the recession in some way and it has played a powerful force in the lives of many around me.  Worst of all- I have absolutely no control over it and I don't like that.  Nope- I don't like that at all!

   What I do have control over is my spirit.  I can face the challenges of an underfilled bank account and an empty pantry head on and I am going to from now on.  I'm blessed in ways I could never imagine.  The love, the support and the caring that fill my life are immeasureable by any abacus.  Tonight my nephew cuddled up against me and in the simple security of knowing I would protect him always, he fell asleep hugging me close.  A half hour later, my youngest son did the same thing- fell sound asleep sprawled across my lap on the couch.  My oldest son still hugs me a dozen times a day and says he loves me.  People, it just doesn't get any better than that.

    You have already heard my thoughts on cancer and death plenty of times.  Well, you can now add stress and fear to the list of things that I hate.  This week I banned all negativity from my classroom.  Some of my students were becoming particularly nasty and putting each other down on a regular basis so I told them that they were in a nastiness and negativity free zone.  There was no longer any room for put downs, snide comments or rudeness in my classroom.  Well, I am now officially banning all negativity from my life.  My glass will be half full starting right now.

    Of course, now I really need to consider what beverage I would like to measure in that glass....

   Have a great weekend all!