It is with great sadness that I wish to share with all of you that, after a very long illness, my mother in law passed away two days ago on Monday, August 22. She was at home, surrounded by her husband and children and many of her grandchildren, all of whom loved her dearly.
It is with great happiness that I wish to share that my baby sister was married to the love of her life also two days ago on Monday, August 22. She too, was surrounded by the people who love her- minus one groomsman who stood beside his mother as she left this world and passed into the next.
Because of the wedding that all of us, even my boys, were a part of, the kids and I were unable to be there along with the rest of the family.
What I would like to share with you now may leave some of you skeptical but I swear that it is exactly what happened.
As I stood on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, my toes buried in the warm sand while my pink chiffon dress stirred gently in the sea breeze, I watched as my little sister said her vows. As she stared up into the eyes of her fiance', my own eyes teared up and I had to look away for just a few seconds. Behind where we stood on the beach was the hotel that would hold the reception. It had a deck that spanned its width where several hotel guests stood and watched as the sacrament of marriage was performed on the perfect Virginia evening. Humidity free, the air was comfortable, the sky an awe inspiring shade of blue. A woman in a green tank top leaned against the rail of the deck smiling as if she knew something the newlyweds did not yet know but would one day soon discover.
As my eyes wandered, I caught the briefest glimpse of an image that I will never, ever forget. Two feet over from the woman in the green tank top I saw my father, leaning on the railing, his ivory button down shirt flapping slightly in the breeze, a big smile on his face. Beside him was my mother in law. Both looked vital and healthy- no trace of the terrible diseases that had taken them from us.
I heard the words, "She just died" in my head. And then they were both gone.
The last time I visited my mother in law in the hospital, she told me she still hoped to make it down south for the wedding.
Well, "Mom", you did! And I was so very happy to see you there!
After the ceremony, I hunted down my girlfriend who held my cell phone (there was absolutely no place to tuck it into my halter dress!) and said "Quick! Give me my phone! I have to see if my husband called- I think his mom just died."
Her reply? "No, she didn't. You are just worried."
Of course, she was right. There was no text message. No missed call.
But I was certain of what I had seen so I sent him a message asking how she was.
He did not reply.
Finally I broke down and called him. It was then that I learned she had, indeed passed in the middle of the wedding ceremony.
I have always believed that loved ones who pass sort of take on the job of guardian for us. From the other side, they watch over us, protect us and when they really want to, drop in on us. I am convinced that the week after my oldest boy was born my great grandmother, whom I was very close to, dropped in to see him. I swear I could smell her perfume. Another friend shared with me once a story of her father coming to see her first born son as well. I was certain that Dad would somehow manage to be at the wedding and he didn't let me down!
It's perfectly OK with me if you don't believe any of this really happened. And I don't even mind if you think I am a little crazy because I just might be slightly left of center on a regular day anyway. But, I am going to choose to cherish the fleeting glimpse- whether it really happened or my active imagination just filled in a gap for me- and take comfort from the fact that two people I loved are now in a place where they no longer hurt or ache or feel the agony of their ailments emotionally or mentally.
I am deeply saddened by the loss of my mother in law. The boys have just lost a grandmother they really loved, my husband has lost his mother and and my father in law has lost his spouse of nearly fifty years. I am sad for all of us because we are left here feeling the pain and sorrow of her death but for her I am happy, ecstatic even. She no longer has to scream out in pain as she shifts from one position to another. Her breathing is no longer labored and her chest no longer aches. For that I am infintely grateful.
Truth be told though, I mostly jealous. She gets the opportunity to hang out with my dad any time she wants now while I just have to wait patiently for three or four decades to see him again!
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