It Must Be Love

   The quickest and easiest way to straighten my long, naturally curly hair is to iron it with my clothes iron.  Yes, I actually iron my hair on a towel on the kitchen counter.  I am not the pioneer of this idea; my younger sister introduced me the concept and it is my understanding that my mother employed the same technique in her younger days as well.  On this particular morning I was having difficulty reaching the ends- when it is straight my hair hits somewhere in the middle of my lower back.  So I enlisted the help of my husband.  Those of you reading this who know him already see the humor in the situation.  For the rest of you, my tough, burly, extremely masculine, police officer husband stood behind me in the kitchen delicately ironing the curling ends of my long hair.
   Without burning me and better yet, without poking fun at me.
   Yes, the romance is still alive in our marriage!
   Just a few weeks ago, we celebrated our eleventh year of marriage in a fourteen year relationship.  Like all couples we have had our ups and downs- the indeterminate battle with infertility, too many bills, never enough money, honey-do lists that sometimes just get longer and longer, depression and sleep apnia.  The difficult schedule that accompanies police work is never conducive to family life and might very well be the cause of all the other difficulties we have encountered.
   We have known many other law enforcement couples with rocky marriages that ultimately ended in divorce and honestly by all statistical odds, ours should have followed suit.
    So, why have we managed to survive the rigors of an law enforcement marriage?
    I could say it's because I am independent, because I am.  The kids and live our lives just as we would if we had a husband and a father that worked 9-5 Monday through Friday. If something breaks I do my best to fix it.  If the grass needs cutting, I cut it.  I could also say that it's because I have a great support system and that wold be true as well.  My friends and my family are wonderful and are always there for me when I need them and that would be absolutely true.  I could also chalk it up to luck and fate but I am not sure I totally believe in either of those concepts.  Is it because we have a love of epic proportions that makes us so desperate to be with each other that we can't imagine living without each other?  Proabably not.
   The thing that keeps us moving, the glue that holds is together is sheer stubbornness.  I am too stubborn to admit I can not do something and he is too stubborn to ever admit defeat.  It is the very basis of our relationship.  The foundation upon which he and I became "us".
   My first meeting with my future husband was arranged by a mutual friend.  OK, she was my friend and his ex-girlfriend.    Already you have to know that this didn't go so well.  I humored them both as we went out dancing and spent the night chatting and getting to know each other.  As my friend and I headed home later I told to her absolutely never give him my phone number.  Of course, in the spirit of friendship, she didn't listen.  He called a couple of days later but I managed to avoid that call and the thirty days of calls that came after that one.  Until the fateful day that I forgot to check the caller I.D.  As we talked, he finally conviced me to go on a date with him.  How could I not?  The man was persistant to say the least.  By the end of that first date, I knew I had met the man I would one day marry.
   It must be love that allows him to iron my hair and ithas to be love that drives him to stay up all day after a twelve hour night shift to attend our son's tae kwon do tournament.  And nothing short of love would push him to work forty hours of overtime in one week because we need a new furnace.  We are middle class, hardworking people that take exotic vacations at the city park campground and crusie the streets in inexpensive subcompacts.  Our kids will never have flat screen televisions in their bedrooms or be presented with a BMW on their sixteenth birthdays but they know love and they have learned respect.  Best of all they are both as stubborn and persistant as we are!